HYPER RACER CHARGED WITH POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS
Concerns may halt Middle East Peace Process

A vocal minority of motorsport participants have called for Hyper Racer's publicity of it's various race success and promotion to be investigated, claiming it's ruining it for everybody else.

According to one key member of the aggreved group, publishing anything suggesting that Hyper karts or drivers are good in some way is "an insult to other makes and drivers who aren't as good. And it's not very nice".

Angy racers are fed up with Hyper's publicity, claming it prevents them from picking up chicks

One source, who wished to remain anonymous, possibly on account of having the social skills of a flatulent Star Trek junkie, went on to say "It's like Geelong: So they won the AFL Grand Final. But then what do they do? They go on and on about it. Everywhere was like...'Mighty Cats' and 'Cats Win'. That's so insulting. It's clearly insinuating that all other teams are rubbish and should be shot. And what's more..." said the aggrieved party before we could shut them up "Geelong really weren't that good. The only reason they beat Port was they kicked more goals, possesed the ball more and didn't stand around doing nothing".

This provoked a chorus of dissent, with other angry competitors even suggesting Hyper exaggerated their race success. In one event, some alleged that Hyper's heavy driver Mark Wicks had an unfair advantage because he turned up when they didn't. Another person insisted; "...he only won because he drove faster, lead more laps and didn't spin. Big deal. Next thing we know Hyper's PR machine are going on about how good they are. Like the rest of us should all just die or something. I mean, yeah, maybe I should kill myself. That's obviously what they want. Would that make Hyper Racer happy? Huh??! Would it?? " he carried on like this for some time until it got really disturbing and we had to creep away discreetly.

Wicks: turned up

Leeroy Hemptoke in the 60's, yesterday

While some floated the idea of suing Hyper Racer for loss of self-esteem, the disgruntled racers have an unlikely ally in members of the music industry, who have joined in the fight against Hyper's promotional doings. "We have the same problem" says Leeroy Hemptoke, of LSD Studios in Murray Bridge, S.A. "I was in the industry all through the 60's and 70's. All we heard about was Rolling Stones this, Led Zeppelin that. Big deal. My local band, Spleen of Satan, were just as good. And we would have been just as famous too if we'd sold as many records. Where's the justice in that?".

There were suggestions within the sport that these issues could best be solved by the complainants embarking on their very own promotional and information campaigns extolling their own virtues. However, a spokeswhinger for the group said: "It's not up to us to learn how to do all these things. It's up to Hyper Racer to stop. Our category is meant to be a control formula. That means everyone is supposed to be the same. Besides.." he added "We don't know how to use the internet and carnt spell good".

Suggestions put forward to help force sameness on the field were; control chassis, control kart, control driver or everybody taking turns driving the same kart, on a handicapping system. Another idea was to all play with a Rubiks' Cube where all sides are the same colour.