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Satire
CROOKE BANS OWN KART


The controversial Hyper Racer saga took an interesting turn this week. In a scenario not unlike something from a Mary Shelly novel, it was reported that Hyper Racer creator Jon Crooke himself has approached the governing body's Eligibility Council (EC) with a view to having his kart banished from the sport.


Jon Crooke, yesterday		 Rumours first surfaced after some eligibility questions of the Hyper Racer vehicle were raised by an interstate scrutineer who intended to send them, via the due process, to the Eligibility Council. The scrutineer, who refused to be named or photographed unless he was wearing some sort of disguise, said yesterday "The problem was, I didn't fill in the prescribed form properly. Where it said "leave space blank" I wrote "OKAY" in big letters, so the Eligibility Council sent it back saying I had to re-do it. But by that time, Jon Crooke beat me to the punch and stole my idea".

A spokesman-type-person from the Governing Body, who agreed to be interviewed only if wearing a large wide-brimmed hat and trenchcoat, said yesterday "It certainly is rather strange that an actual kart owner would approach the EC to have their own vehicle banned. Normally we only accept eligibility questions from other competitors, owners, and the legally insane. But there's a first time for everything"
Mary Shelly, yesterday

Is Crooke milking the controversy for publicity? Hyper's spokesperson is not sure
Jon Crooke was unavailable for comment yesterday, possibly being locked away in a dark, squalid basement laboratory with big electrodes. A representative of Hyper Racer, who only agreed to be interviewed wearing a bovine animal costume, commented "Jon has been under a lot of stress lately. We are worried he's reached the point where he'd rather ban his own creation than let someone else do it. What if the EC don't confirm the eligibility issues? He might try and euthanase the thing himself using drugs, or a big hammer. It's really quite spooky. Does my bum look big in this?"

There was speculation that Crooke applied to the EC simply to clarify previously questioned technical issues on the HyperRacer and establish it's eligibility once and for all. However this was dismissed as unfounded. And much less interesting.

 

 

 

 
 
 


 


 

 

 


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