A (German) Toyota engineer comes and stands beside me minutes before Q1, holding a "tyre strategy sheet". We chat for a while. He assures me the front of the grid will be occupied by Ferrari, McLaren and "probably BMW". Those guys know their stuff. He observes every tyre compound of the rival teams', and marks it into a neat matrix.

Jarno Trulli trundles towards the pit exit, itching to release the speed limiter and unleash the violence of 750 horsepower and 19,000 rpm. Problem is, an unfortunate crew member has left the trolley jack fastened to the rear of the Toyota F1. It's not the first time something like this has happened. But it certainly is the first time I have been standing two metres away at pit exit, worried that the errant trolley jack might free itself and gyrate into my ankles.

There's three minutes remaining in Q3. Kimi Raikkonen just posts P1 with a 1:26.072. In the time it takes me to turn my head from the monitor used by the Safety Car crew and look up pit lane, the Renault and McLaren crews have launched into the lane, stripping off tyre warmers and leaping into position with rattle guns. A chaotic, colourful ballet, all for one last single chance to knock off the Ferrari. Fisichella launches towards the pit exit line, not bothering to merge left, which means he's heading right for me.

They don't succeed in toppling Ferrari's pole. But for me, this was epic. I couldn't care less that Sunday's race turned out to be processional.

Walking and standing around for four days, from 7am to 6pm, under rain or harsh sun, is harder than it sounds. But being a trackside volunteer at the Aussie GP is the best seat in the house.

Enough talk. You can read about the race in any motorsport mag. Or, if you must, marvel at the ignorance of the tabloids attempting to sound like experts on this once-a-year show. Here's some images from up close...


Craig Baird. Despite the lack of V8's, the Carrera Cup support races provided massive action.

Pitstop practice



The fact that I am so completely devoid of engineering skills makes me admire the machinery even more. Right down to every immaculately detailed label and smoothly flowing curves of carbon fibre, they are a thing of beauty.

Jenson suggests Felipe has a donut fetish. Rubens looks worried.


Rubens reacts poorly when Felipe mentions HE gets to use the deluxe bathroom at Maranello


"You're kidding me. The one with the Marble floors??"


"AND you get to use the expresso machine? Michael bought that!!"


He doesn't look worried. Nor should he


He does. And so he should!


Heidfeld's expression doesn't change, even when he realises he's grown a really ordinary beard.


Kimi saddles up. Note that matt finish on helmets is coming into fashion. You heard it here first


Heidfeld


Kimi triumphantly pulls into the temporary parc ferme




The moment that Jean Todt dropped the bottle...


But they make those Mumm bottles tough!


caringly handling a thing of beauty...